Grumpy Gratitude

Finding Thanks When You’re Tired of Trying

What if I don’t want to be grateful?

I know. Terrible timing. Thanksgiving is around the corner. The internet is about to drown us in gratitude lists, glimmer reels, and inspirational quotes about noticing the dew on a leaf.

Meanwhile, I’m tired. The world is heavy. My brain feels like it’s running Windows 95. And honestly? I don’t want to “find the glimmers.”

I want to lie on the couch with snacks and avoid any activity that requires emotional enlightenment.

Does that make me a monster?
Or just human?

Grumpy Gratitude Is Still Gratitude

Here’s the thing no one says out loud: sometimes gratitude feels like homework.

Be thankful.
Be present.
Be mindful.
Be spiritually upgraded by Thursday.

Sure. All lovely ideas.
But some seasons feel like one long group project you never signed up for, and being told to “look for the bright side” just adds another item to the list.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate my life.
It’s that I’m tired of trying to manufacture appreciation on demand.

Grumpy gratitude is still gratitude.
Just with boundaries. And maybe snacks.

The World Is A Lot Right Now

Global heaviness.
Local heaviness.
Personal heaviness.

Some weeks it feels like the world is handing out emotional ankle weights and saying, “It builds character!”

And in the middle of that, the expectation is to feel thankful. Which is fine… until it turns into pressure.

Here’s the thing I’m trying to learn (or at least what my therapist keeps insisting I need to know): You can hold contradictory thoughts and feelings.

You can be grateful and tired.
You can appreciate your life and still not have the energy for a gratitude journal.
You can love your people and still desperately want silence.

Apparently this isn’t a moral failing.
It’s maturity. (Or something like that.)

Real Gratitude Doesn’t Need a Performance Review

The more I resist being told to be grateful, the more I realize something: gratitude works a lot like joy.

It doesn’t show up because you schedule it.
It doesn’t arrive on command.
It doesn’t care what holiday is coming.

It shows up when you stop forcing it.
In the tiny, quiet, unremarkable moments.
In the breath after the tears.
In the ridiculous comfort of a warm drink or a cozy game.

Maybe gratitude isn’t something you do.
Maybe it’s something you notice… when you’re not emotionally overclocked.

What Leaders Can Take From This

Leaders often feel pressure to model gratitude.
Appreciate the team.
Celebrate the wins.
Keep spirits up.

All good things.
But here’s the real wisdom:

Forced gratitude isn’t leadership. Honest gratitude is.

And honesty starts with acknowledging the emotional weather of the moment:
It’s been a hard year.
People are stretched.

A leader who says, “It’s okay if you’re tired. I am too,” creates more trust than a hundred cheerful emails.

A Tiny Test

This week, instead of hunting for gratitude like it’s a competitive sport, try this:

Notice one thing that didn’t make your day worse.

Not magical.
Not transformative.
Just… didn’t make things worse.

It counts.
It’s enough.

Sometimes gratitude begins at neutral.

It’s Okay to Have Grumpy Gratitude

You’re not failing at thankfulness.
You’re not missing the spirit of the season.
You don’t have to contort yourself into joy because a calendar says so.

Let the forced gratitude go.
Let the pressure go.
Let the glimmer-hunting rest.

Grumpy gratitude still counts.
Maybe even more than the shiny kind.

It’s honest.
It’s human.
And right now?
It might be exactly what we need.